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 The Other Place

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PostSubject: The Other Place   Thu Jun 03, 2010 4:01 am

I stared at the mans crooked yellow teeth, my eyes hurt from their proximity. He slid a long, sharp finger over his shoulder like a vile snake and poked my forehead right between the eyes.

You know what your problem is?"

I shook and tried to move but my limbs were unresponsive. He dug his fingernail deeper into my skin. I tried to shake my head. Shake him off. But only my eyes moved, darted.

He laughed.

You're too afraid to run. So you run. You run and get tired, and you run circles inside that funny little brain of yours.

I tried to swallow. My throat felt as if it was closing in on itself. I was going to suffocate. A distant voice screamed inside my mind.

He spat on the wall beside my head. The fingernail broke from the pressure and his finger jabbed. My head exploded in pain.

He smiled and lowered his face. Soft brown eyes stared at me. The kindest eyes I had ever seen. My horrified, jaw dropped frozen face stared out at me from his pupils.

You can go anywhere, but you cant get out of here.

He withdrew his finger and raised it to his mouth. Sucked on the broken nail.

And it hurts me to see you this way.
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BillBuchanan

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Posts : 10
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Join date : 2010-06-03
Age : 24
Location : Florin

PostSubject: Re: The Other Place   Fri Jun 04, 2010 11:44 am

This is an amazing piece. The contrast between the man (with the brown eyes) at the beginning and the end of the story is interesting and makes me wonder at the backstory. I'd love to see more.

rabbit
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PostSubject: Re: The Other Place   Sun Jun 06, 2010 4:43 am

Thanks. I don't know if I'll continue it. It's sort of just that.
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